How the light gets in

Since being in the 3P conversation I feel like more 'cracks' are becoming visible to me.
I'm talking about the 'good' kind of crack.
Cracks in the illusion of how I see the world.

The ones that give you room to breathe.
Time to rest.
Space to see something new.
The ones where the light comes in.

There are areas in my life, where I welcome the cracks.
I see a little glimpse of light and I go 'Woohoo, great!' and just welcome a whole new experience. And cool stuff happens, things change, problems disappear.

And then there are other areas.
The ones where I'm desperately looking for change.
The ones where I'm really suffering.
The ones where I'm asking the same questions again and again, trying so hard to figure it out.
And at the same time being kind of stubborn in defending what I believe to be true. Because it just feels so true - that this is really hard, this is a real problem, this is special.

It's a bit like running around with my hands pressed firmly over my eyes, complaining...
It's so dark.
I can't see anything.
Yeah yeah, I hear what you are saying, I'm trying very hard, but I can't see anything!

Fortunately the system is build in such a kind way, that even with all my trying and pushing and resisting, at some point, without me even looking, my grip over my eyes loosens up a bit and there it is.
A teeny tiny crack.
Instantly there is light.
And I can look away very fast or tighten my grip over my eyes again (and this happens a lot), but I can't 'unsee' it.

Somewhere inside I know it is there.
The possibility to see something new.
The possibility to see through the illusion. ❤️

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